Just a Nobody, trying to be Somebody
by Pheonix Fame
Summary: Roxas is becoming more and more discontent with his life in the Organization and it is affecting those around him.
1. Chapter 1

Darkness was all they knew. Despair was all they had ever heard of. Loneliness was what they were taught to hold in the empty cavity where their hearts should have been. All they had were wishes for hearts and they had their superior one to lead them down the long and winding road that was the creation of Kingdom Hearts. They were not one minded like their other halves, the heartless. They were nobodies, created from somebodies. They were an organization. They were Organization XIII.

The large white walled room was furnished with thirteen very tall throne-like chairs. On them sat thirteen figures in black leather cloaks. Their faces were shadowed and they could have been mistakenly thought to be the same person if it wasn't for their differences in size.

One of the smaller figures sat with its chin resting in its hand and its elbow perched on the arm of the chair. Its head was facing down a bit and there was no certainty that it was listening to a cloaked one who sat, speaking to the rest, in the tallest chair. The small one's shoulders moved up then down as it let out a sigh and a figure five chairs down leaned over a bit to look at the smaller one. The figure next to that one also looked over at the smaller one for a moment but quickly decided to pay attention to their leader again. When the leader had finished talking, he lifted himself from the chair and left the great, white room. All of the other cloaked ones began to stand and pull themselves deep into conversation with their neighbors; all but the smallest one. Number XIII stayed in his seat with his chin resting in his hand. He was too deep in thought to let the others' chatting bother him.

A nobody... He thought about being a nobody and being a pawn for Number I. The idea never was too appealing to him, but he never really had a complaint about it until now. Now, everything was changing and he didn't see any good to come from the change. He was more a precious toy for the organization than ever before.


	2. Chapter 2

The one that had sat five chairs away from number XIII approached him. The gloved hands reached up to its hood and pulled it down to reveal his fiery red hair and piercing green eyes. What made him look even more strange were the brown, triangular markings; one under each eye. He flung an arm over the shoulders of number XIII and the last number turned his head up at number VIII. The red head gave him a smile.

"Geez." he said with a little chuckle. "Why so serious?" Number VIII withdrew his arm when he felt sure that Number XIII was glaring at him from the shadow of his hood. "It isn't that big of a deal, is it?" asked Number VIII, backing up a bit.

"Axel..." said the youngest number as he sat up straighter and removed his hood. Axel smiled down at the young blue eyed nobody.

"Come on, Roxas!" said Axel ruffling up Roxas' dirty blonde hair. "Chill out some! We won't be doing much for a while and this plan won't be as bad as it sounds! Trust me!" Roxas grimaced.

"Every time I trust you, Axel, something bad usually happened." Axel's smile faded until Roxas put one, a very small one, on his face. "But it's a lot of fun when that happens." Roxas jumped out of the chair and Axel patted him on the back.

"There!" he said happily. "That's the Roxas I know! Don't start acting like Zexion now!"

"Who's being Zexion?" asked a voice from behind them. The two nobodies turned to face three other nobodies. The others had also removed their hoods to show their countenances. The tallest of the three had a smile of mischief plastered on his handsome face. His hair was spiked up like Axel's but a bit longer and it sported a nice blossom pink color. Next to him was a smaller girl who sat next to Roxas. Her hair was pulled up into two very small ponytails on her head. Lastly, standing a little behind the other two, was a baby-faced nobody with a dirty blonde mullet and shining blue eyes.

"Eavesdropping, Marluxia?" Axel asked the pink haired one.

"We just overheard." he replied. "Firehead! You sure are loud!"

"Watch your mouth!" snapped Axel but he still kept his smile. "I'm a higher number than you, Number XI." Marluxia laughed bitterly before turning away from them.

The girl watched him go before giving Axel a light punch in the arm. "He was just trying to have a little fun in this boring castle." she said. Axel laughed softly.

"Number XII." he said. "Go keep that fool in line. Even if you are a lower number than him, you've got more strength and brains." She laughed before nodding a hello to Roxas. "Hello, Larxene." said Roxas and she ran off after Marluxia.

Axel turned his direction to the nobody with the mullet. "You're awfully quiet." he said slapping the baby faced nobody's cheek softly. The nobody looked at him with big blue eyes. "You were acting so serious during that little meeting!" said Axel attempting to mess up his mullet. The nobody pulled away.

"I always screw up when I don't pay attention." he said watching Roxas curiously. "I care about this organization...more than others maybe."

Axel's smile left his face and he stepped threateningly towards the nobody. "Is that an insult directed at Roxas, Demyx!?" he snapped and Number IV jumped.

"N...no!" he squeaked. "I'm just saying! Wouldn't it be best to listen to the Superior?"

Roxas looked over at Axel. "He's right." said Roxas motioning for his friend to back off. "I was distracted at the wrong moment."

Demyx looked at Roxas and gave him a silent "thank you" before rushing off.


	3. Chapter 3

Axel and Roxas found that they were now the only ones left in the room so they walked out together.

"What should we do?" asked Axel thrilled that they would not have to use their lower nobodies to accomplish some mission of the Superior one's.

"What is there to do?" asked Roxas as they walked down the long, white hall. "This place is empty; boring."

"We could try something!" whined Axel and Roxas laughed.

"You tell me not to be Zexion and here you are whining like Demyx!" Axel laughed as well.

"I guess you are right!" said Axel. "But who can't whine!? We've got free time but nothing to do!"

Roxas nodded. "I know." he said. "It isn't fun being a nobody."

Roxas suddenly frowned. "I hate it." he said and Axel looked curiously at him. "I hate being a nobody." he continued. "I feel empty inside all the time and...and I don't like doing whatever Superior says. Why can't I be a somebody?"

"Roxas..." Axel said in a "not-this-again" voice.

"No, Axel!" snapped Roxas and Axel stepped back. "I hate this! I hate feeling like a dog on a chain! I bet there is somewhere out there where we don't have to act like...like...like nobodies!" Axel shook his head.

"This organization..." Axel started but he could not finish.

"This organization!" snarled Roxas. "I hate it! I just wish to leave altogether! Even more now since..." He clenched his fists tightly and he was now holding two very large key weapons. "Since I found out about who my somebody is and what we are going to do! I hate the very thought of it!" The key blades disappeared again. "Don't you understand, Axel!?"

"No." said Axel simply. "I'm sorry, Roxas, but...I don't."

Roxas sighed as he calmed himself down. "Never mind." he said before giving his good friend a reassuring smile. "I'm fine. Sorry."

Axel smiled back. "You've been doing a lot of thinking, Roxas." he said trying not to sound too worried.

"Yeah, but no more thinking for now!" said Roxas before starting to run off down the hall. "We have free time and we aren't doing a thing at all!" he yelled back at Axel. "Let's stop lazing about and have some fun!"

Axel's smile widened and he ran after Roxas. "O.k. but wait up!" he yelled as he tried to catch up.

These two nobodies didn't care if they were going to get in trouble for going off to another world without Number I knowing. They took Demyx, Larxene, Marluxia and Luxord with them since numbers IV, XII, XI and X wanted a little excitement as well. Of course, Demyx was starting to get second thoughts about his decision while the nobodies walked down to one of the beaches of the world they were in.

Roxas licked at a sea salt ice cream while watching the ocean. He was used to turning down Axel's offers like this but today, he was glad he didn't. It was time for him to stop acting like a servant nobody. Axel looked at him while licking at his own ice cream bar.

"Hey, Roxas?" said Axel and Roxas' blue eyes looked over at him. "Do...do you think we will ever meet our somebodies?" asked Axel and Roxas was surprised he had asked that. It was something Roxas could see himself asking and not Axel.

"I don't know." he answered watching Marluxia get drenched with a tidal wave Demyx had produced. "Who knows if they are long gone or still out there somewhere."

Axel looked up at the sky. "Yeah." he said and Roxas raised an eyebrow.

"You aren't actually thinking of looking, are you?" asked Roxas curiously.

Axel shrugged. "But I will do one thing, Roxas."

"What's that?" asked Roxas.

"Tell you that your ice cream just melted off the stick." answered Axel.

Roxas jumped up and looked down at the puddle of blue in the sand at his feet. "Geez." breathed Roxas and they both started laughing.

"Pay attention!" laughed Axel. "Got that memorized?"


	4. Chapter 4

Demyx looked over at Axel and Roxas with his big blue eyes. He then glanced over at Marluxia who was talking cheerily with Larxene and Luxord. There he stood, alone once again.

He removed his black boots and walked barefoot near the water. The waves came up and attacked his feet before pulling back into the huge ocean. He was glad that they had chosen a place with water. He had always felt more comfortable around the beautiful, sparkling liquid. He let out a sigh as Roxas jumped up as his ice cream melted. Roxas and Axel laughed but Demyx just frowned.

There was never a day that went by without Demyx feeling somewhat jealous of Roxas. Number XIII was always the center of attention, especially now since the recent meeting. Roxas had always been the better nobody than Demyx. He accomplished almost every mission flawlessly and he commanded over hundreds of lower nobodies while Demyx found it hard to perfectly accomplish anything and he felt right at home with his own water clones. He had to face it; Roxas' nobodies could kick the tar out of his water clones any day. Demyx couldn't stop himself from wishing he could be like Roxas.

"Demyx!" yelled Axel suddenly and Demyx looked over at him.

"Wha?" said Demyx and Axel's "Watch out!" was drowned out by a huge wave crashing down upon Demyx's head. He was only kept from being washed off into the ocean by his water abilities.

Marluxia's laughter was the first thing he heard after he got all the water out of his ears. "Taken out by your own element!" said Marluxia. "How pathetic is that!"

Demyx glared up at Marluxia before panicking. "Where did my boots go!?" he cried realizing he no longer held them in his hands.

"Out to sea, I bet." said Luxord.

"Oh no!" said Demyx. "Now Superior will found out we did this! It's all my fault!"

"Got that right!" snapped Marluxia.

"Aw man." said Larxene.

"Way to go, Demyx." said Axel.

"Shut up guys!" yelled Roxas and Demyx almost stopped breathing. Roxas held out his hand to help Demyx up. "If anyone should get in trouble, it's me." said Roxas as he pulled Demyx up to his feet. "I suggested we take along others."

"No, Roxas!" said Axel. "I said we should come here! I'll take the heat!"

Demyx watched the two argue about who should take the blame for him and he felt his happiness growing. Suddenly, it started to become guilt. "No..." he said and Roxas looked over at him. "I shouldn't have taken them off. I'll take the blame for my own mistake."

"We should all take the blame." said Roxas and everyone agreed with him.

As they started to open up their portals to Castle Oblivion, Demyx started to feel angry. He had just realized how the others easily agreed with Roxas. The kindness from earlier that Roxas had showed Demyx melted away to make room for total loathing. Was Roxas just there to make him look bad? He opened up his own portal and stepped inside. The swirling and feeling of the transportation...he couldn't feel it at all this time. His jealousy flared up even more now. Roxas! Why was it always number XIII!? He stepped out of the portal and onto the white floor of Castle Oblivion's hall. It didn't even feel cold against his bare feet. All he knew was that, at this moment, he hated Roxas.


	5. Chapter 5

Marluxia hated getting in trouble. He only liked to cause it and get away with it. The only reason he agreed to turn himself in with the rest was because he knew Axel would rat him out. It was Roxas' idea for all of them to take the blame and Axel would make sure that all of them did.

Marluxia disliked the fact that Axel was so fond of number XIII. Why did he have to follow Roxas' word like a little puppy dog? Axel was a higher number than him. Marluxia couldn't understand it. Whenever he yelled at Axel or told that firehead he was wrong, he would get chewed out! Roxas, on the other hand, got away with that. Axel would say, "Calm down, Roxas," or "Please don't be angry," or the more common, "Come on. We're buds to the bitter end. Got it memorized?" Marluxia didn't get Axel one bit.

As they rounded a corner, Marluxia noticed Larxene giving him a look.

"What!?" he snapped, rather annoyed. Larxene shook her head.

"Why is the flower so ugly right now?" she asked and Marluxia snorted.

"Should I be happy when we are about to sell ourselves out to the superior?"

Larxene smiled. "Oh, Marly!" she exclaimed. "What else is there to do? Besides. Doesn't Demyx get into enough trouble already?"

Marluxia crossed his arms. "So!" he snapped. "It's his fault for taking off his boots in the first place! The idiot..."

Marluxia felt a sharp pain in the back of his head when Larxene raised her fist and brought it down upon him. "Geez!" he yelled as he rubbed his head.

"Stop being so mean to Demyx!" she hissed. "You forget don't you!? You're number XI and he's..."

"Number IX!" finished Marluxia for her. "I don't care! How'd that whiner get his number anyway! He's so..."

Marluxia was pushed hard into the white wall and a black cloak stormed past him. The blonde mullet was very noticeable.

"I can hear you, you know!" yelled Demyx as he continued to walk on.

"Good!" yelled Marluxia back before turning to Larxene. "I'm off! Let Axel rat me out! I'll be world-hopping anyways." He opened up a portal and stepped through feeling even more ticked off than before.

Larxene watched as the portal grew smaller until it was no more. She let out a sigh. Marluxia didn't agree with this whole "number equals your amount of respect" thing. She continued down the white halls alone.

Poor Demyx, thought Larxene. He gets picked on by every member of the organization. He was one of the smallest but that doesn't mean that they had to bully him. She turned the corner. The Superior's study was just ahead. She knocked on the door. "Come in." came Number I's voice. Surprisingly, it was calm. She opened the door and entered.

Xemnas looked around at the nobodies who were gathered around the desk of his study.

"Marluxia's skipped out, has he?" asked Xemnas as his fingers tapped the white desk. "No matter. I'll send Xigbar to deal with him later." A snicker from the corner of the room reminded Xemnas of Number II's presence. He ignored him for now. "Now to decide your punishment for leaving the castle when I clearly stated you all were supposed to stay put for the time being."

He looked at each face carefully. Axel looked a little frightened but eager to accept his punishment. Demyx, who once had an angry look, seemed to be shaking in his...well...cloak, since his boots were missing. Larxene seemed ready to accept anything Xemnas could throw at her. She was tough like always. Luxord looked as if he could care less. He did think of life as a gamble so maybe he just saw this as a twist in the game where he had the worst hand.

Xemnas' eyes fell on the face of the young nobody, Roxas. He was calm and Xemnas could even see a hint of rebellion in his face. He had looked bored when he first entered, as he had done in the Organization's meetings. Xemnas had noticed the lowest number losing interest in what went on around the castle slowly. He knew it was drifting off to other things. Xemnas knew it was only a matter of time before...

Xemnas looked away from Roxas' face and looked down at his fingers. "What else can I do?" said Xemnas with a sigh. "I'm much too busy right now to do much. Just don't turn..." He glanced up at Roxas. "...rebellious. Promise me you will stay at the castle for now on until I say different."

"Yes, Superior." said all, but Roxas, in unison.

"Yes, superior." muttered Roxas after the rest.

"Right." said Xemnas before turning his gaze to the hooded figure in the corner. "You can do whatever you want with Number XI for trying to avoid my judgment. Just don't destroy him. Be nice."

The figure stepped forward and removed his hood. His devilish grin was spread wide on his face and one of his eyes was covered with a black eye patch.

"Be nice!?" said Xigbar. "You know that isn't like me at all!" He let out a cruel laugh and ran a finger down the scar under his eye. He spun around to face the door and his long black and grey streaked ponytail swung around with his movement. "Catch ya later, kiddos." he said to the lower numbers before taking long strides from the study.

Xigbar looked down each hall with that evil little grin on his face. Marluxia was one of his favorite nobodies to pick on, besides Demyx of course. Marluxia was always doing things that ticked him off. That runt always ran off with his eyepatch whenever he could. I'll shoot him in the foot, for sure, thought Xigbar as he came to the conclusion that Marluxia was nowhere in the Castle Oblivion, or The World That Never Was for that matter. He had better find out where he went off to but Xigbar didn't feel like tailing him. When he returned, Xigbar would be sure to give him a "warm" welcome.

He held his palm open and a strange spear gun appeared under it. "I'll be waitin'." he said twirling the gun with a pleased smile plastered on his face.


	6. Chapter 6

**_Apologies for the shortest of this chapter. I wanted this to be a separate moment from the one before, which was pretty long. Enjoy._**

Axel breathed a dramatic sigh of relief as they exited the Superior one's study.

"That was a close one, eh Roxas?" he said as he laid a hand on his buddy's shoulder. Roxas just shrugged it off and Axel's expression of worry was quick to return. "Roxas?"

Number XIII kept walking as if he had not heard Axel at all. Axel stopped and watched the young nobody walk off. There was a sudden change in his personality; one to match his beloved element of fire.

"Roxas!" yelled Axel in rising anger. "Why won't you answer me!? Why won't you tell me what's the matter with you!?"

Roxas stopped and turned to look back at his friend. Roxas' eyes were layered with an icy blue. "Do I have to tell you every little thing in my mind?" asked Roxas, rather coldly. "You said so yourself that you didn't understand me. Why should I waste your time with meaningless words? Leave me alone, Axel."

Axel stomped his foot on the marble ground angrily. "I can't do that!" he yelled. "I can't do that because we are friends! I want to know what's the full deal here!? Got it..."

Roxas cut him off. "No, Axel!" he yelled spinning completely around to face the fiery red-head. "I don't have it memorized and, clearly, I really don't care! Just give it a rest already, will you!?"

Axel could not believe his ears. Roxas had yelled at him. The icy layer in Roxas' eyes did not melt away but only seemed to intensify.

"Just leave me alone, Axel." said Roxas. "I really don't want to share any of my thoughts with you. Don't you get it? I want to be alone for awhile. Stop constantly pestering me." The youngest nobody turned slowly again and continued on his way, leaving the broken Axel behind with his head pounding.

Roxas had just yelled at him; he had really yelled at him. Axel's anger died down as quickly as it had flared up. That look in Roxas' eyes… There was no way he would ever forgot the way those icy eyes glared into him.


	7. Chapter 7

**I've noticed that people have been adding this story to their favorites! That must mean I'm doing a good job. Here's the next chapter. Chapter 8 might take a while so bear with me everyone. **

Another dreary day in Oblivion...

Roxas' blue eyes slowly opened. He lay in his bed and on his back, arms hanging over the sides of the small mattress. He looked around his miserably plain room. This place... sickened him. He forced himself to sit up and he closed his eyes, desperately trying to forget about the blank, white walls around him. He took in a deep breath and his bare chest quivered slightly as he did so.

He could not believe what he had done yesterday. He had been so full of anger that he couldn't keep from tearing Axel apart like that. He regretted it completely. Axel was only trying to help yet he had snarled at him like a rabid dog. That look in Axel's fierce green eyes... they were no longer fierce and if Axel was in possession of a heart, Roxas was sure it would have been a delicate one that was torn and bleeding by Roxas' own hand. He would not blame Axel if the fire-starter rejected him completely. If Axel yelled at him or threw hurtful words at him... Roxas wouldn't be angry. He deserved it. He deserved every last bit of it.

He rose from his bed and dressed in the usual leather black cloak and pants; the attire for every nobody of Organization XIII. He slowly left his room and drifted through the halls, almost fearing that he would run into Axel at any moment. He felt certain that he would get what he deserved when number VIII caught him. He walked subconsciously towards the kitchen as he pondered the many outcomes of an encounter with his good, or once good, friend.

Zexion stood at the stove looking into a large pot of some kind of stew. He continued to stir it and didn't look up when Roxas entered. Sitting on the counter by Zexion was Larxene and Demyx. Demyx turned his face down to the ground when he caught sight of Roxas and Larxene scooted a little bit closer to Demyx.

"What's wrong?" she whispered to Demyx, watching Roxas sit down in a chair.

"I just feel so upset with him right now." whispered Demyx back. "He hurt Axel."

"Axel doesn't have a heart. It goes the same for all of us." said Zexion suddenly, upon hearing the conversation. "He could not be hurt permanently."

"Just because we are nobodies doesn't mean we don't have feelings!" snapped Demyx loudly and Roxas looked over at them. Seeing his chance, Demyx jumped off of the counter.

"How dare you yell at Axel like that!" yelled Demyx. "He's your friend and you destroyed him! He was so moody yesterday and even if he said it wasn't your fault, I knew it had to be! What's wrong with you!?"

Roxas glared at Demyx. "I was in a bad mood, that's all." answered Roxas, trying not to raise his voice.

"Did you have to push all your anger onto Axel then?" snapped Demyx.

"Number IX..." said Zexion in a soft voice."Calm yourself." Demyx bit his lip to keep from saying anything more.

Silence swarmed around them for a moment. Finally, Roxas stood up quickly.

"I'll go find Axel and apologize!" he snarled. "That's what you want, right? I was going to say sorry anyways!"

Demyx looked down. "Yes." he answered. "I'd like it very much if you said sorry." Roxas smirked.

"Don't be such a baby, Number IX." said Roxas before leaving.

"Don't be such a baby." the words stung like salt to an open wound. That's all Demyx ever heard! Don't be such a baby! Why are you always acting like a baby? Stop acting like a baby! It made Demyx so angry! Why did everyone call him that!? He wasn't even the youngest nobody and he was still the one that was called the baby of Organization XIII.

Larxene took notice on the look that was on Demyx's face. "Demyx?" He ignored her as he clenched his fists and shook as his anger grew.

"I hate him..." muttered Demyx fiercely."I hate him so much..." Zexion's grey eyes glanced over at Demyx.

"It's a temporary emotion. It'll pass." said Zexion, still stirring the contents in the pot.

"What!? Because we don't have hearts!?" snapped Demyx, turning to look at Zexion. "We do too have hearts!!! They're just..."

"They're what?" asked Zexion curiously. Demyx opened his mouth again, but no explanation came out. He was utterly silent now. "I'm waiting." responded Zexion and Demyx stormed out of the kitchen.

"Do you have to act so cold?" asked Larxene, hopping off of the counter.

"I'm only stopping him from thinking anything foolish." replied Zexion. "We do not have hearts. That's why we are nobodies..."

"You know, it could be possible." commented Larxene as she started to walk out of the kitchen. "What could be?" asked Zexion.

"For us to have hearts." answered Larxene before leaving the kitchen.

Zexion finally stopped stirring and stared blankly at the wall in front of him. "It's impossible for nobodies to have hearts..." he murmured to himself, but somehow... he was starting to doubt it. They had many emotions that a heartless person should not possess. Wait... the other nobodies had those emotions. Zexion couldn't help but realize that he had pretty much given up and almost completely accepted the fact that they were heartless. Was he truly the heartless one? His mind started to wander to other things besides the cooking, which was very unusual for him.

Xigbar slowed his quick pace as he neared the kitchen. There was the smell of something burning in the air and he stopped by the kitchen door, sniffing in the scent. He rushed into the kitchen when he was sure it was coming from there.

"Zexion! The food!" he growled at the small silver-haired nobody. Zexion jumped before quickly turning the stove off. His mind was still lost on other things and he burned himself touching the pot as his mind tried to get on the right track again. Xigbar snorted at Zexion.

"What's wrong with you today?" he asked, striding over to him and looking at his red hands. "You're never like this."

"I... I'm not sure." admitted Zexion, pulling his hands away from Xigbar and running them under the faucet's cool water. Xigbar lowered himself into one of the kitchen chairs.

"You're out of it. I can tell. Something's got yer mind in a mess." commented Xigbar.

Zexion watched the water run over his long fingers. "I'm fine, Xigbar." replied Zexion, pulling his hands out of the water and turning to Xigbar. "And since when did you care?"

"Who said I did?" snarled Xigbar, frowning and pushing himself up to his feet.

"No one, I suppose." sighed Zexion as he turned the water off. There was a strange uncomfortable silence that lasted several long seconds.

"Tell me what's on the mind, kiddo." insisted Xigbar. It wasn't something said in a friendly manner; the tone was suspicious. "It sounds like something against the Superior."

"I would never betray Number I. You can trust my word," murmured Zexion, turning his back on Xigbar. "He is, after all, the head nobody and I am his nobody follower."


End file.
